Is Christian Marriage in Chaos?

Dr. Ron AllchinDownloads, For Those Seeking HopeLeave a Comment


We know Christian marriage is under attack. When your own Christian marriage feels like chaos, you hurt deeply. You may wonder if you and your spouse are destined for continual disagreement and dissatisfaction. Is there a path forward, together?

Your path forward is a plan on where and how to lead your home.

Download the 5 S Leadership Assignment on God’s plan for the home.

Here are two key questions:

Is anyone leading your home? If so, is this leadership moving your Christian marriage and family toward peace and harmony?

God, in his wisdom, has a plan that works. It involves a change of heart, direction,and a willingness to yield your home again to His leadership. Your Christian marriage will never be the marriage that God desires unless both spouses are being led personally by God.

Do the Roles for Husband and Wife Irk You?

Most of the time when we think about leadership in the home, the fear is that specific roles, obligations and expectations will be heaped upon each other. Some Christians are irked that God calls husbands and wives to different marital roles. You should know that the biblical teaching on marriage is really more about following Christ than about who’s in charge in the home and who handles which responsibilities.

When you are confident that your partner is following Christ’s desires, you will be far more willing to yield your desires to a mutually agreeable decision.

God’s plan for the home involves both husband and wife working together to lead their homes. In order to accomplish this best, God gives both husbands and wives different responsibilities. Special emphasis is called to the responsibility of the men as they are instructed to sacrificially lead their families like Christ leads us.

Husbands, Lead Sacrificially

God calls husbands to the biblical leadership model of Christ.

This type of leadership looks quite different than how our culture often defines leadership. When both husband and wife are committed to working together to create strong leadership in the home, they become a unified team that is leading and protecting their Christian marriage, home and family.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25, ESV

There are five biblical words that capture the heart of the Christian leadership model in the home.

The first four belong to the husband and the fifth to the wives.

God calls husbands to be the following:

  1. Strong
  2. Sacrificial
  3. Spiritual
  4. Servant Leadership in the home.

Wives, Support Your Man

God calls wives to support their husbands by helping them become the servant-leader that God desires. Support is the fifth biblical word in the Christian leadership model for the home.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22, ESV

When the husband abuses or abdicates his leadership responsibility or when the wife resists his leadership, the inevitable result is conflict and disunity. If you are in this position as a couple right now, don’t give up trying or settle for lesser ideals.

By faith, believe what God’s word teaches–when both spouses embrace God’s design, your marriage will begin to improve. If only one spouse embraces the design, you will still see improvement but more slowly.

What you learn in biblical counseling at Biblical Counseling Center is how to embrace God, each other and healthy biblical leadership in your home.

There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a
good marriage. –Martin Luther

Christian Marriage Resources

Download: Be sure to grab this resource —5 S Leadership Assignment — on God’s plan for the home.

Counseling: Do you need help getting your marriage back on track? Do you have problems with conflict resolution, communication, or anger? Has your Christian marriage become love-less? Consider biblical counseling with one of our trained, experienced counselors. We meet in person (Chicagoland) and by Skype worldwide. Contact us and get the help you need.

photo credit: Ami and James via photopin (license)

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