About the author: Theron has a heart of caring for people and walking alongside of them in their suffering, struggles, and fight against sin. He is also passionate about cross-cultural ministry. He is certified through ACBC and is currently pursuing a D.Ed.Min. with a concentration in Biblical Counseling at Southern Seminary.
As a child entering grade school, I remember a growing sense of anxiety. Even before school began, I battled racing thoughts at night and a fear of the dark. The start of the school year only added another layer. I vividly remember refusing to brush my teeth, hoping my parents would let me stay home. My plan never worked. Whether I brushed my teeth or not, I was going to school. Looking back, I realize my parents taught me an important lesson: anxiety is not overcome by avoidance but by learning how to face it.
Defining Anxiety
Before addressing anxiety in children, we must first define what we mean by it. Dr. John Henderson, a seminary professor and biblical counselor, describes anxiety as “a deeply human response to a broken, uncertain world where the heart loses active awareness of God’s presence, shifting instead to self-reliance or perceived threats.”
Children are often more aware of the brokenness of the world than adults realize. During my years counseling in a Christian school, I met children struggling with anxiety because of their circumstances. Some lived in homes fractured by divorce and ongoing custody disputes. Others wrestled with uncertainty. I remember being called to an elementary classroom to speak with a child who became distressed after their parent dropped them off and was out of sight from their child. Though the situations differed, both children were responding to a world that felt uncertain and out of their control.
Dealing with Anxiety
The answer in either case is not to ignore what is happening. A child shuffled between homes every other weekend cannot simply avoid the anxiety that accompanies that reality. Likewise, a child fearful after being dropped off at school will not be helped if the solution is always to call a parent back to pick them up.
The anxious thoughts and feelings children experience provide gospel opportunities. They allow us to introduce them to a present God who cares for them. The goal is not to ensure a child never feels anxious again. Rather, it is to help them respond differently when anxiety arises.
Not Seeing the Problem Clearly
Children often respond anxiously because they interpret their circumstances by relying on their own perspective. When counseling children, I often use the illustration of eyeglasses. I ask them to imagine putting on a pair of glasses and then describe what they see.
One child may fear that if their parents drop them off at school, they will forget to pick them up. Another may worry endlessly about grades, not because of a desire to learn, but because they believe anything less than an A makes them a failure in the eyes of others. In both cases, the child is viewing reality through a distorted lens.
Children are not alone in this struggle. The disciples often failed to see clearly as well. Mark 4:35–41 provides a helpful example. While the passage is not primarily about anxiety, it does reveal the fear that often accompanies it.
After a day of teaching, Jesus and His disciples crossed the Sea of Galilee. As they traveled, a violent storm arose, and the disciples feared for their lives. Meanwhile, Jesus slept peacefully in the boat. Terrified, they woke Him and cried out, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mark 4:38).
Their attention was fixed on the storm around them, the wind, the waves, and the water filling the boat. More importantly, their words revealed that they were questioning Christ’s care rather than trusting His character.
God Provides a New Way to See
Notice, Jesus does not respond to the disciples by first rebuking them. Rather, Jesus rebuked the wind and the sea. Then, He turned to the disciples and asked why they had responded with fear rather than faith. Although Jesus had been with them the entire time, they failed to recognize that His presence was their greatest source of security.
The peace they needed was not ultimately found in the absence of the storm but in the presence of their Savior. Through His power and care, Jesus revealed that they had every reason to trust Him.
What the disciples needed to see is exactly what anxious children need to see today. The ultimate solution is not merely a change in circumstances but a change in perspective. Children do not need to close their eyes to reality or become consumed by what surrounds them. They need to lift their eyes and see a present and powerful God who cares for them. We help them do that most clearly through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
My parents helped give me that new perspective. Rather than allowing my fears to drive my actions, they taught me to look to God in the midst of them. They wrote Psalm 4:8 on a piece of paper and encouraged me to read it before bed and before school each morning. Over time, I learned that peace did not come from escaping difficult situations but from trusting a present and powerful God who cared for me in the midst of them. That is the Godward perspective anxious children need to see.
