Depressed people need caring counsel, don’t they? And the holidays can be especially daunting. Read more on what to expect if you need caring counsel or provide it.
This article by Jeff Forrey appeared here at The Biblical Counseling Coalition. It is reprinted with permission. (Edited for space.–LAM)
Think about the recent personal conversations you’ve had with depressed people. Do any of them sound like these testimonies from Arlene and Greg?
Arlene: “It was really hard to get out of bed in the morning. I just wanted to hide under the covers and not talk to anyone. I didn’t feel much like eating, and I lost a lot of weight. Nothing seemed fun anymore. I was tired all the time, yet I wasn’t sleeping well at night.
“But I knew that I had to keep going because I’ve got kids and a job. It just felt so impossible, like nothing was going to change or get better.”
Greg: “At first I was feeling sad all the time, even though I had no reason to be. Then the sadness turned into anger, and I started having fights with my family and friends. I felt really bad about myself, like I wasn’t good enough for anyone. It got so bad that I wished I would go to bed and never wake up.”
Definition of “Depression” Today
Of course, Arlene’s and Greg’s testimonies are just snippets from their lives. And although there were some differences in their experiences, both of them had enough similarities to label them “clinically depressed” by the criteria used today.
Clinical depression, as I am using it, is a broad term that incorporates a couple of more specific diagnostic labels used by mental health professionals. In order for such labels to be applied to someone, a person’s lifestyle needs to be significantly affected by symptoms such as the following (from the DSM-5):
- Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day
- Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities every day
- Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day
- Insomnia (inability to get to sleep or difficulty staying asleep) or hypersomnia (sleeping more than usual) nearly every day
- Psychomotor agitation (for example, inability to sit still, pacing, pulling at clothes) or retardation (for example, slowed speech and movements, quiet talking) nearly every day
- Fatigue, tiredness, or loss of energy nearly every day
- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day
- Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day
- Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideas with or without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt
- Feelings of hopelessness
How long? What’s the cause?
Depressive episodes can last for anywhere from two weeks to several years, and with varying degrees of severity. By definition, the presence of these symptoms is not due to the effects of any drugs or a medical condition (for example, an underactive thyroid gland). The presence of the symptoms negatively affects the person’s relationships, work responsibilities, etc.
Because clinical depression is identified by the presence of the symptoms listed above—and because a number of these symptoms have to do with the way people think, react to adverse circumstances, or relate to others—it’s important that we not miss an important logical implication: not addressing pessimistic thinking, guilt, relational problems, etc., will actually sustain depression.
This is important as we think about the pastoral care (biblical counsel) you might offer to a depressed person.
God’s Relationship to People’s Experiences with Depression
From a Christian point of view, we might wonder, “Where does a relationship with God enter into a portrayal of depression?” What we call “depression” was also experienced by numerous people mentioned in the Bible. For example, compare the following verses from Psalm 102 (ESV) with the criteria listed above:
Hannah, Elijah, Jeremiah, and many more people mentioned in Scripture might be labeled as depressed if evaluated by mental health professionals today. Yet, contrary to the secular point of view, in these cases the people’s relationship with the Lord was their primary consideration both to make sense of their depressed state and to seek relief from it.
Importance of Caring Counsel
From a biblical standpoint, all of the symptoms associated with depression must be addressed within the framework of a person’s relationship to God.
Though “spirituality” has also recently become a point of interest among secular psychologists in the treatment of depression (and other problems), their understanding of it is not helpful to Christians. The secular definition of spirituality simply draws attention to meaning, purpose, or a desire to be in contact with “the divine,” all of which is determined by the individual person.
In contrast, in the Bible, spirituality always has to do with a person’s relationship with God. That relationship touches on all aspects of life. This includes how one relates to others, makes decisions, thinks about the future, deals with sadness, prioritizes care of the body, assesses meaning and purpose in life, addresses guilt, etc. (Note the parallels with the symptoms listed above.)
Spirituality is not a separate component of a Christian’s life; it energizes, shapes, and directs his or her life.
Therefore, the centrality of their relationship with the Lord means you need to help depressed people think through all of the effects of depression on their lives from a biblical perspective.
You can be the person who helps the depressed individual process the mental, relational, behavioral, and physical aspects of depression from a God-centered (spiritual) perspective. That person will most likely also get help from other professionals. But never assume that the involvement of other professionals diminishes the significance of your role! It actually highlights its significance, especially if the others are not Christians.
Who else can help the depressed believer understand and respond to the many different effects of depression biblically?
Note: An earlier version of this article first appeared on: http://www.careleader.org/pastors-can-help-depressed(June 28, 2016).