Forgiveness: How do you forgive someone who has who has wronged you? Pastor Colin Smith shares six strides toward forgiveness. The article appeared first hereĀ on Unlocking the Bible is reprinted with permission.
Imagine standing right next to a hurdle on a race track. You canāt jump a hurdle from a standing start. You have to take a run at it.
Often we get focused on one sin, one problem, one issue that we want to overcome. How do I get over my fear? How can I prevail over this lust? There you are, standing right next to the hurdle, and you canāt get over it. Why? You have to begin from further back.
Godās forgiveness is the model and the motive for our forgiving.
The same is true when it comes to forgiving other people. You have to begin with your own need to be forgiven:
āBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.ā Start mourning your own sins and you will be on the way to forgiving the sins of others.
Here are six strides that will give you the momentum to help you get over the hurdle of forgiveness.
1. Remember, the Holy Spirit Lives in You
The Holy Spirit by whom you were sealedā¦ (EphesiansĀ 4:30)
No one has had more to forgive than God. Every sin you have ever committed is a sin against him. Each of these sins played a part in the awful suffering of Godās Son. That is true not only of your sins, but of every sin of every believer who has ever lived. Think how much God has forgivenā¦and his Spirit lives in you!
2. Donāt Dwell on the Injury
Let all bitterness and wrath and angerā¦be put away from you. (EphesiansĀ 4:31)
Bitterness, wrath, and anger come from nursing a grievance. Someone has wronged you, and you keep thinking about how wrong it was, how hurtful it is. Bitterness and anger are fires that need to be fed, so stop feeding them. Tell yourself, āThere are better things to fill my mind with.ā With the help of the Holy Spirit, Christian, you have the power to set your mind on something else.
3. Donāt Fight and Quarrel.
Letā¦clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all maliceā¦Ā (EphesiansĀ 4:31)
When a relationship is in trouble, fighting, and quarreling over who did what and who said what will only stoke the fires of bitterness and anger. This moves you further away from the forgiveness youāre trying to cultivate. So donāt go around talking to other people about what a terrible person he or she is, and put away maliceāthatās the desire that the one who hurt you will get what they deserve. If you keep doing these things, you wonāt be able to forgive.
4. Have Compassion on the One Hurt You
Be kind to one another, tender-heartedā¦ (EphesiansĀ 4:32)
When the person who has wronged you hasnāt taken ownership and they have no sense of responsibility, that means theyāre blind to what theyāre doing and to the pain theyāre causing. When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. They didnāt even know they were lost! The person who has sinned against you may be just like that. Be kind to one another and tender-hearted.
5. Realize You Need Forgiveness of Others
Forgiving one anotherā¦ (EphesiansĀ 4:32)
There will be things you need to forgive in others, and there will be things that others need to forgive in you. It is impossible to say from the heart, āLord, have mercy on me,ā and at the same to refuse mercy to another person in your heart. Realizing your own need of continuing forgiveness will help you to take another stride toward forgiving others.
6. Savor Your Forgiveness in Christ
Forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven youā¦ (EphesiansĀ 4:32)
Godās forgiveness is the model and the motive for our forgiving. Think about how God has forgiven you. Turn this over in your mind. God has forgiven me in Christ gladly, freely, and fully. This forgiveness is undeserved, irreversible, and eternalādone in love and mercy, out of agony of heart in the darkness of Calvary. Savor your forgiveness in Christ. Appreciate it. Enjoy it. Let this priceless gift of God move your heart to worship, wonder, love, and praise. Forgive one another as God in Christ forgave you.
Practice the six strides and your seventh will take you over the hurdle of forgiveness. When a person has hurt you badly, and he or she is completely unaware of what theyāve done, take the first six strides, and youāll be ready at any moment to forgive. Forgiveness will already be in your heart, ready to be released, whenever the one who has wronged you is ready to receive the gift.
This is how Jesus Christ is toward you today: He is kind and tender-hearted. He has compassion on you. His nail-pierced hands are stretched out toward you. Whatever you see that needs to be forgiven, he is ready to forgive as you come to him. If you believe this, why would you not come to him in repentance today?
