This true story tells of a troubled marriage restored.
Biblical Counseling Center is now sharing our counselees’ stories, written by them. This ongoing series covers issues from troubled marriages to a dad heartbroken over the sexual assault of his daughter, from rebellious teens to older folks with shattered dreams–and more.
Listen to Ed Owens as he shares how he and his wife, Dimple, found hope and healing for his anger issues, her despair, and their communication and financial difficulties through marriage counseling at Biblical Counseling Center.
DIMPLE AND I WERE not Christians when we married 28 years ago.
Her family in India was devout Sikh, though she was not religious. My family did not understand the need to be born again to enter the kingdom of God. As unsaved yet self-proclaimed Christians, we only went to church on special occasions and had no real love for God, His Word, or His people. I got saved eight years after marrying Dimple and after going broke the second time. Dimple was saved three years later.
We grew in many ways after we both got saved, but took a pretty bad turn downward when great prosperity came from 1997 to 2003. It didn’t draw me closer to Him.
I became very proud, and my wife and I could not agree on much. She was near despair much of the time. I would have told you that I loved her, but I treated her in a Pharisaical way that crushed her spirit.
We started counseling for our troubled marriage around 2000. We went through many weeks of counseling but apparently I did not learn enough because I still had issues with anger and criticism, and my wife was still in despair.
A few years later, we returned to counseling at Biblical Counseling Center. Through many more weeks of counseling I repeated the same cycle and still had issues with anger and criticism, and my wife was still in despair, expressing doubts as to why she married me. In 2007 we went in for yet another round of counseling.
This was our third time with the same principles from God’s Word. I was certainly embarrassed to see the same people again for the same reason, but in desperation we did it anyway. I admit to being a very slow learner, but it would seem at the end of the day, grace won out!
God birthed in me a desire for His Word. One of the books I got from Biblical Counseling Center taught me that the essence of pride is a disregard for the Word. So I began to memorize the Word daily. This was the single most important spiritual discipline in my life.
Over time I began to absolutely love and delight in memorization, mediation, prayer and preaching of the Word to myself. It has become like food for my soul. I grew in obedience. So, the more I grew in obedience, the greater my love grew for my wife.
My passion for her continues to grow. I stopped seeing her faults and only saw her goodness. I express this to her regularly. She began to be happy more often. I think that Dimple would tell you that she has been pretty happy in marriage for over two years. We now serve as marriage mentors in our church.
God has given me a great conviction and passion for the divine purpose of marriage, to see it lived out in my own marriage and to help others.
To God be the glory in our joy and progress of faith!
Do you have a troubled marriage? Read this.
photo credit: lam