5 Keys to Better Communication, 2 of 2

Dr. Ron AllchinFor Those Giving Help, For Those Seeking HopeLeave a Comment

Do you want to know the 5 keys to better communication? Who doesn’t? 

This is the second post in a two-part series on better communication. Read the first post.

The apostle Paul gave us keys for biblical communication in the book of Ephesians—four of them. When we apply these four keys of communication, we develop unity. When we break one or more of them, tension and disunity follow. The fifth key is found in James: listen well. In the first post, I explored Be Honest, Keep Current, and Attack Problems, Not People. Here are the remaining two.

Communication Key #4: Act, Don’t React

‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Ephesians 4:31–32 (ESV)

When we react, we “bounce off ” the words or actions of another. We let ourselves be controlled by what they say or do, giving over to anger, being jerked around by what another person says or does. By whom does God’s Word instruct me to be controlled (Galatians 5:16-26)? The Holy Spirit! Reactions make problems worse, not better. Actions, when they are modeled after the character of Jesus Christ and are controlled by the Spirit, solve problems and increase unity. I can act like Jesus regardless of what you say or do! So can you. We can choose to act like Jesus, being kind, compassionate, forgiving. Relationships are then reconciled, just as Christ forgives us so that we can be reconciled to God.

Communication Key #5: Listen Attentively

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19, 20 (ESV)

We are told in James to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Throughout Proverbs, the idea of listening is also seen through statements like “pay attention,” or “give me your ear,” or “incline your ear to my voice.” These are clear admonitions to listen attentively. Some people don’t listen. They are busy stating their opinions or preparing their response, but not listening carefully. Failing to listen fosters mistakes and incites anger. Listening is paramount to knowing how to respond properly and to contribute words of value. What if all of God’s children used these five communication keys? What a difference we could make in our world!

“All will know you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34–35 (NKJV)

We would be like the early church that turned the world upside down. Our churches would function in a unified manner, and our homes would be safe havens for all who come in. We would indeed walk in unity in all our relationships!

Did You Know?

Most people need help with communication skills. Are you in a struggling marriage and need hope? What about communication with your teens? Do they need help making wise choices for everyday living? Biblical Counseling Center has experienced, certified biblical counselors who’ll not only pray with you but also develop a personalized plan for your situation. Contact us.

Be sure to subscribe to our blog so you get every helpful and hope-filled from Biblical Counseling Center, founded by Dr. Ron Allchin, D.Min, 25 years ago!

photo credit: i.am.rebecca via photopin cc

Do you or someone you know need counseling?

We are passionate about helping hurting people. We provide Skype counseling for people across the country, and live counseling in 5 offices across the Chicagoland area.

Get Help Today


Are you interested in learning to counsel others?

We believe that the Bible has the answers for a hurting world. We are passionate about training people and churches, through online courses and events, to help those in need.

Learn More Today

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.